When Getting There Still Feels Like Waiting
They say things fall into place eventually. But they never talk about the in-between—the messy, confusing space where things are almost right but don’t feel right at all.
Last year, I was just another person sending out job applications into the void—refreshing emails like it was a habit, saving job descriptions like they were wishlists. Some days I got replies. Most days I didn’t. But I kept showing up.
Then after 3 months came a moment that looked like a breakthrough. A job offer. Relief. Maybe even excitement. I didn’t let myself dream too big—I just thought, “Finally, something has started.” But the catch? They asked me to “wait” after just 15 days of joining . No tasks, no updates—just wait. And wait. And wait. Turns out, it was a scam. A neatly wrapped lie. And what hurt more than losing the opportunity was realizing I had told people. I had let myself be happy. I had imagined a different version of myself just a little too early. I felt invisible in a space I was supposed to grow in.
And so, I started over. Again—job portals, interviews, rejections, maybes. At one point, I had multiple offers. But nothing felt... right. Everything felt temporary, uncertain, like I was signing up for another delay in disguise.
Then again after months of trial and wait, two doors opened. One job. One internship. I said yes to both.
I should’ve been happy. And I was… kind of.
I thought this was the turning point. I was earning now. Things were moving. But funny how even movement can feel like stillness when it’s not going in the direction you planned.
I pictured a quiet kind of freedom—earning my own money, finding my own space, and letting myself be untied from the usual for a little while. But life had other plans. Responsibilities. Expectations. Emotional strings tied tighter than I realized.
It’s weird—how you can be doing okay on paper, and still feel stuck in real life. How you can be grateful and still quietly disappointed. How your dreams can be “delayed,” but no one sees the weight of that delay except you. You wait so long to start a new chapter, and when it begins, it doesn’t feel like yours.
You’re doing well enough, but deep down, you still feel behind. Like your dreams are constantly being rescheduled. Like you're on pause—even while moving.
No one talks about how that feels. How hard it is to sit with gratitude and restlessness at the same time. To smile because things are technically better, but still wonder why it doesn’t feel fulfilling. Why you still feel like you're waiting to begin.
If you’re in that space too—feeling stuck even after you’ve “arrived”—I see you.
And if this made you feel less alone, maybe that’s a start.
Maybe you can share your own version of this story. Or just sit with it for now. Either way, you're not the only one figuring it out.
Last year, I was just another person sending out job applications into the void—refreshing emails like it was a habit, saving job descriptions like they were wishlists. Some days I got replies. Most days I didn’t. But I kept showing up.
Then after 3 months came a moment that looked like a breakthrough. A job offer. Relief. Maybe even excitement. I didn’t let myself dream too big—I just thought, “Finally, something has started.” But the catch? They asked me to “wait” after just 15 days of joining . No tasks, no updates—just wait. And wait. And wait. Turns out, it was a scam. A neatly wrapped lie. And what hurt more than losing the opportunity was realizing I had told people. I had let myself be happy. I had imagined a different version of myself just a little too early. I felt invisible in a space I was supposed to grow in.
And so, I started over. Again—job portals, interviews, rejections, maybes. At one point, I had multiple offers. But nothing felt... right. Everything felt temporary, uncertain, like I was signing up for another delay in disguise.
Then again after months of trial and wait, two doors opened. One job. One internship. I said yes to both.
I should’ve been happy. And I was… kind of.
I thought this was the turning point. I was earning now. Things were moving. But funny how even movement can feel like stillness when it’s not going in the direction you planned.
I pictured a quiet kind of freedom—earning my own money, finding my own space, and letting myself be untied from the usual for a little while. But life had other plans. Responsibilities. Expectations. Emotional strings tied tighter than I realized.
It’s weird—how you can be doing okay on paper, and still feel stuck in real life. How you can be grateful and still quietly disappointed. How your dreams can be “delayed,” but no one sees the weight of that delay except you. You wait so long to start a new chapter, and when it begins, it doesn’t feel like yours.
You’re doing well enough, but deep down, you still feel behind. Like your dreams are constantly being rescheduled. Like you're on pause—even while moving.
No one talks about how that feels. How hard it is to sit with gratitude and restlessness at the same time. To smile because things are technically better, but still wonder why it doesn’t feel fulfilling. Why you still feel like you're waiting to begin.
If you’re in that space too—feeling stuck even after you’ve “arrived”—I see you.
And if this made you feel less alone, maybe that’s a start.
Maybe you can share your own version of this story. Or just sit with it for now. Either way, you're not the only one figuring it out.
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